New Years

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The past, present and future really are thinly veiled.  Sometimes the oddest events can cause two lives to intersect at moments which seem that something divine is at play. Exactly what, I’m not always sure.
Last night my youngest daughter stood in Times Square, for New Year’s Eve, for the first time.  At 23 she is just starting to get her wings and take flight.  At 23, I stood in Times Square, on New Year’s Eve, for the first time.  I was just starting to get my wings and take flight.  That night I met a lovely young man, named Peter Krinsky, from Pennsylvania.   I no longer know Pete, but I don’t live far from where he used to live when I knew him.  When I was 23, the last place I’d thought I’d be living is exactly where I’m living.
Years ago, on New Year’s Day,  I met a man, for coffee, which ended up being tea, in a great coffee house (which probably closed due to lack of customers) in a town which sorely needed a great coffee house.  We spoke about life, scars, trying to heal, writing.  Patience and friendship.   He told me about his wife who died of breast cancer a decade ago and the pain rose in his eyes as did the tears.  Such a gentle soul this man was and I ached for him.  Etched in his face was the desire to be brave and move on, yet etched on his heart were memories which cut deeply.
As we were getting to leave he said, “So you’re a Pisces.  So am I.  When is your birthday?”
I told him it was March 8th;  he looked like someone had knocked into him.  He literally staggered.
I said, “Don’t tell me it’s your birthday too?  Yes?!!  That’s crazy.  What a coincidence!  I’ve only known two other people with my birthday and both were students of mine!”
He looked at me, a bit dazed and confused.  “Really? Your birthday is really March 8th?”
“Yes.  Really.  Isn’t that kind of cool we share a birthday?”
“Well, I don’t really make a big deal about birthdays.  It’s also the day my wife died.”
Oouch.
Oftentimes my life has a circular feel to it, rather than a lineal movement.  That day I saw his past and present rise, like a Tsunami.  I could see the circle of his life, a frenzied whirlpool,  in front of my eyes.
“I do make a big deal about birthdays”, I said.  “I believe the day of a person’s birth should be honored and celebrated.”
But the damage was done; he heard me, still spoke to me, but he was no longer really standing with me outside of the coffee house.  His mind was pulling him into the past where his ghosts, regrets and love of his life resided.

~In the Shadow~

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In the shadow’s inferno
it quickly burns to ash
a love longed for and lost
in a war of silence
in a battle of words

The lashing and cutting
went to the very bone
slicing the marrow and
bleeding all the
poems and stories of
gentler times of lush red

In the valley of memory
times lingers for one more
moment in tender honor
to what was and never shall be
for the Phoenix cannot rise
from this holocaust of fire

~Willing~

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You gently part
my lips with yours
Stroking my hair
drinking in my eyes
pulling me to you
and even though
you are right there
a single breath away
I miss you
yes
right now
come closer, Love
I want your heart
beating against
my flushed skin
need to feel you
learn every inch
of who you are
over and over again

 

~When Gods Die~

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When Gods die
The world undulates
Oceans tremble
In the wake
But mortals
Our tale is loosely spun
We Pass through the veil
With barely a sigh
As for me I hope
There will be a whisper
A remembrance of
How I lived and loved
And who I was lucky enough
To have love me
All that matters
Are those touchstones
Which last forever
Through the storms
And the eternal stardust



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You say you need to

take another look around

the chambers of my heart

A tube will be snaked through my vein

make sure the blood is flowing

the muscle pulsing to its best

 

But it will not, can not

show the life of this woman

the history I have written

into the marrow of my bones

the stories tucked away

in the folds of my soul

My culture dancing on

the surface of my skin

the laughter like effervescent bubbles

gently stored in my belly

The luminescent light

shimmering in my hazel eyes

My gains and my losses

my loves and loss of love

 

You will see only a snapshot

of pure body function

which allows me to

create, live, breathe, be

 

Fix me, if needed

please

so I can heal

become

every new day

more than I was

each yesterday

~Round Three~

“We Can Feel It”

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I feel the sun warming us
as the heat building
between us rises
a burst of kaldeioscopic
colors dance on
my closed lids
The cool rock
presses against me
under my spine
while my head rests
in the crook of your arm
butterflies dance
around and within us

Words flow easily
but silence also settles
upon our skin
like soft cotton

Our bodies shift in unison
We open our eyes
just in time to see
two hawks soaring
above it all
the wind gently
cradling their wings

We feel it, sense it
the grace and majesty
of the hushed moment
as we become one
with the sky and earth

In my memories
for all the days to come
I will visualize
how on that day in May
I wrote your name
in invisible ink
across the afternoon sky
and across my heart